I Don't Normally Do Stupid Things, But When I Do They're Pretty Stupid

My family recently moved into a new house, and we had to do a lot of downsizing. We threw out and donated a bunch of things that we didn't need, packed things that I had never seen before (seriously, there's an Easter platter that I had never seen before in my life). Some of the things that we had planned to get rid of were video games.

My brothers and I aren't very good about playing our video games on a daily basis. We have a Wii and a Playstation 3 that we barely ever used until a few days ago, so I decided to get rid of a few games that we didn't play. They were mostly Wii games that we had beat or that we just got bored of and a few Playstation 3 games that my brother hadn't touched in years. Games like Avatar: The Last Airbender, Madagascar 2: Escape to Africa, and Guitar Hero, a game that my family hadn't played in years. Literally. Years. We play that game, like, once a year.

My friend and I went to GameStop the day before yesterday to give them away. I got 15.00 bucks for the lot, which (if you've ever tried to sell games at GameStop) is a lot. Trust me. However when I got home with 15 dollars in my pocket and gameless my brothers asked me where the games were, specifically Guitar Hero...

I don't normally do stupid things, but when I do they come back to bite me in the butt. It would be just my luck that the day I finally get rid of these games that we literally. never. play. would be the day that everyone wanted to play them. Now, I'm the butt of an on going joke in my house. Every time someone asks me for something my dad (being the snark master himself) has to say, "She probably sold it."

Anyway, I'm going out today to buy it back from the guys at GameStop so my brothers can play it. They're probably going to laugh in my face... or something equally as terrible... like laugh when I leave...

In completely unrelated news, Fall Out Boy is back... I know, I know. I'm a little late to that party, but I've been listening to their new album Save Rock and Roll for a good month. Apparently they released it in February... around the time I was in the hospital, but I only found out about it last month. Also, Camp NaNo is starting again this July. Two more days and I'm going try and probably fail (again) to write a novel in a month... 

Wish me luck!
-Anna

Moving on and Staying Behind

Summer is here and I've realized just how badly I've neglected this blog. It's pretty sad.
Not much has happened since I last posted. My friends have all graduated and a new school year is looming over my head. I went to my friend's graduation party yesterday, where my symptoms started acting up. Turns out, tomatoes are a big no-no, but to be honest most things are.
I haven't been on top of my medication so when I go out to eat it takes a toll. I got lucky, I can eat a few things and it's only some that are off limits. I can't eat nuts or any greens. Tomatoes (whole tomatoes, not the sauce, people always get confused about this) and apples hurt depending on how I'm feeling. It's really a coin toss when it comes to some foods. My symptoms are tied to stress, and if I'm freaking out or if I'm under pressure I'll start hurting. It's really strange. I've switch doctors and I have another colonoscopy coming up to see if everything is all right.
Another school year is coming up and it's scary just how fast it's coming. I got sick halfway through the first semester and I had to dropout and re-enroll for the 2014 school year so I have to take my senior year all over again.
All my friends are moving on and going off to college while I'm still stuck in high school. My appointment with my principle is in a few weeks so I'll get my schedule squared out and sign up for my online classes. I plan on taking mostly electives, and getting my math and science credits out of the way over the summer. Since stress is something that I need to avoid, my schedule wont be that big or rigorous. I'll be able to start school later and have lunch off campus.
Two AP classes are my limit and they'll be Psych and Lit with two art electives in between, like Ceramics or Drawing and Painting. No Encore this year, but I might take a drama class like Acting or Improve to stay in touch with my old drama friends and take Creative Writing 2 in the second semester.
I'm sort of excited, but kind of not. On one hand I'll be getting a new car and a whole new wardrobe for this year, but on the other my friends are all gone. I mean, I have friends in the Junior class but it just wont be the same you know?

Of Weight Gain, Weening, and Writing

"One day I will find the right words and they will be simple." -Jack Kerouac

So, it's been a while since I posted last.
I have a bad habit of doing that. I'll start a project and after a few days or a week or two I'll forget about it and never comeback. This blog should be different though. I'm going to stick with this project. I feel like it's really important that I keep up with it even if no one's reading. You never know who might stumble in or when. I want to be able to help other teens that get blind sided by Crohn's and this is my way of doing it. By sharing my experiences, even if they seem mundane, maybe I can help make it a little easier for someone else.

I've started going down on my dose of prednisone by 5mg but my face is still swollen. I don't know why but it seemed more noticeable today. I hope it will go down as I continue to lower the dosages. I really hate taking prednisone. I have been eating and snacking so much. I was just craving snacks all the time. There would be days where I would eat an entire bag of saltine crackers in one sitting. I was getting bloated and gained a significant amount of weight. Since I'm stuck at home I haven't been getting to much exercise and I can't get rid of the weight. This week I took control back and plan to take lots of walks, and look into yoga when I get strong enough. Right now I'm strong enough to climb the stairs up to my friends apartment (she lives on the second floor) but I still run like a penguin and now my legs are sore from all that climbing. I need to find ways to be a bit more active.
As far as getting my diet in check I bought a bunch of fruit at the supermarket. Melons and bananas are great to curve hunger and they're not fattening and the don't irritate my symptoms. Fruits like Papaya and Mangos, even oranges if acidic foods don't bother you too much are really good for snacks during the day. I prefer Honeydew Melons so whenever I just want to snack I pop a melon and get back to business. They're really filling and taste so good. Today I peeled an apple (the skin  and cut it up into slices like chips and dipped them in Nutella.

On another note, next month I'm participating in this event called Camp NaNoWriMo. It's a spin off of National Novel Writing Month which takes place in November. Writers are challenged to write 50,000 words of anything in a month during April and again in July. It's my third year doing it and I have yet to win a single one. I'm confident that this is my year though.
The month before NaNo starts is meant to be the planning month where you figure what those 50,000 words are going to say. I've always been a pants-er as opposed to a planner, which means I write on the seat of my pants and is probably the reason I've never finished a NaNo. I've never had a set structure to follow.
This year though I'm trying my hand at planning and outlining my novel before next month. I'm using a program called Scrivener and I'm about 30% done with it. I've hit a bit of a bump in the road and had a little writer's block today but I'm doing pretty well and I'm so excited to start writing it.
The novel is called 'Calling Mr. Darcy' and it's a modern adaptation of Pride and Prejudice. I've been on a period romance binge lately, reading Jane Austen and Charlotte Bronte and the 2005 version inspired me. So far I regret nothing. Not even that Calling is a cliche high school romance. Normally I turn my nose up at teen romance and go down the fantasy/adventure route but this time around I decided to indulge my inner romantic and I'm not even sorry.

I'll be posting more often now, I promise. Even if there's nothing to report, I'll update you on something. This blog will be a regular thing now. Once I work up a posting schedule I'll let you know.
Bye for now!
-Anna

"For me writing a novel is like having a dream. Writing a novel lets me intentionally dream while I'm awake. I can continue yesterdays dream today, which is something you can't normally do in everyday life."  -Haruki Murakami

GI Visit and Tummy issues

"Never was a cornflake girl
Thought that was a good solution
Hanging with the raisin girls"

-Tori Amos

I spent the day with my dad today. I had an appointment with my GI Doctor and my mom had to leave for work so he took me. It wasn't very eventful. We sat in the waiting room for two hours. Thankfully I was prepared for the extra long wait, there were so many people there. I had brought my sketch book and my copy of the Two Towers for the day at my dad's workshop, so read a good chunk of the Two Towers and I'm almost finished with it. When we finally saw Dr. Arisu he ordered some lab work, so I'm due for a blood draw in about two weeks and a follow up on March 28.

Good news is, I've gained ten pounds over the last two weeks. I am now 110lbs. Also, come mid-March, I'm going to start weaning off of Prednisone by 5mg. My doctor says I should be off of it in about two months. The Asacol is long term though. Also if my symptoms come back after I'm off Prednisone he suggested Imuran as a possible replacement. My mom wants me to go for a more natural treatment. She's into all those herbal medications and super-healing mushrooms and stuff. She hates that I'm on the steroids. I don't mind though. I'll happily take the moon face and the insomnia and the break outs over the pain to be completely honest.

Sure, it would be nice to be without them and I'm hoping that after I'm off the drug my symptoms don't come back. Right now I'm struggling with my stomach. I don't know if it's constipation or something I ate, but it's just not my friend right now. I'm not sure if I should eat dinner tonight. I'm not hungry and I don't want to add to the pains in my stomach.

Anyway, it's getting late and I'm not feeling very well. I'm just going to curl up and try to sleep with some Tori Amos.

"Snow can wait
I forgot my mittens"

-Tori Amos

Chef in training

"Food is an important part of a balanced diet."  —Fran Lebowitz

Since my release from the hospital I've made a lot of changes to my life style and it's taken some getting used too. Because of my anemia my mother moved me into the guest bedroom down stairs so I don't have to walk up and down the stairs. It's become a sort of side project of mine to decorate it and make it mine, since I'm going to be spending most of my time there I don't want to be surrounded by white walls and white furniture all day. Because of my new diet we've had to completely re-vamp our grocery list to include foods that I can eat without pain and I've done a lot of web searching for meals that I can make myself. Since I can't go back to school yet I'm stuck at home all day watching tv, surfing the internet, reading, or drawing in my sketch book. A lot has changed over the past few months and so I've had to adapt. One of those adaptations is teaching myself how to cook.
Before Crohn's I couldn't cook to save my life and I'm still struggling. In the past I have made some catastrophic mistakes in the kitchen. But I'm starting to learn. I've made these awesome Chicken Quesadillas the other night and a Tuna Salad a few days ago. I've come up with little snack combinations like Peanut butter and Saltine Crackers, and Cottage Cheese with cinnamon and sugar. I'm working towards getting more adventurous and creative with what I have while staying within my diet.
Today I made some soft fish tacos for my family and I. Because I'm on a high protein diet I've been eating a lot of chicken and fish like salmon and tuna. They were really, very good. I was surprised. It was just a flour tortilla, two avocado wedges, a slice of Guoda, and a spoon full of shredded salmon mixed with light mayonnaise (regular mayonnaise wreaks havoc on my stomach), relish, and mustard. They were easy to make too. Took me maybe five minutes to put together and it tasted great.
Cooking for Crohn's can be a bit frustrating sometimes. Like when I can't make the meals I want to make for myself. I'm very far from being able to bake or actually cook anything and there are so many ideas that I've found online that I want to try. I'll get there though. Lord knows I have more than enough time on my hands. It helps to have hobbies when you're sick.

Keep Calm and Fight On
Anna
♥

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are."  —Theodore Roosevelt

Life AD (After Diagnosis)

 "And even if someone else has it much worse, that doesn't really change the fact that you have what you have"

—The Perks of Being a Wallflower 

It's been two weeks exactly since I was diagnosed and I'm beginning to see and feel some of the common side effects of my medication. Right now I'm taking Prevacid (30mg), Asacol (400 mg), Prednisone (40mg), Iron, and a Flagyl (500mg) and it's the Prednisone that I can feel the most.
I remember when I first got out of the hospital and my mom took me to pick up my pills. There were so many bottles. The nurse had gone over all of the information with me and explained when to take them and what each of them was for. Before Crohn's I was never any good at taking pills. I hadn't learned how to swallow an Advil until I was thirteen and was terrible at keeping up with my allergy medicine. I would always forget to take my Claritin in the morning or my Iron pills (I was anemic even before Crohn's) and now I was looking at a cabinet full of little pharmacy bottles each with their own specific time and function. It was intimidating.
So far I've been on top of my medicine. I mean, it's been a week out of the hospital and I've only missed one dose of Flagyl. That's pretty good for someone who used to abandon their nasal sprays two days after getting prescribed. The only worry I had was the effect these drugs would have on my body. I knew the intended effect of each drug they gave me and combined with my new High Protein, Low Reside, and Low Fiber diet I was and still am feeling better. I just joined a site called Crohnology, a site I definitely recommend to anyone dealing with Crohn's or any other Chronic Illness, and I've been reading people's questions and answers. There were times where I didn't even know I had a question till I saw it answered on this site, but my main concern was the Prednisone. So many people said that it worked but the side effects were terrible and I wasn't sure when I would start to experience them or if I already was.
Now, the tricky thing about Crohn's is that it affects everyone differently. Everyone has a different brand of the disease and so there is no solid answer for my questions, just general speculation and testimonial. But it still helped.
For me, the side effects started a week after I had been on the drug. The first ones I noticed were the insomnia and the inexplicable urge to eat everything in sight. One night in the hospital I remember asking my friend to just bring me one bag of everything from the little snack bar they had in the hall. I couldn't leave the room at the time because of the CDF and so I had to ask the nurses and my mom to bring me anything I needed. This was a very frustrating time for me because I'm a self reliant person by nature but I digress.
That night I pigged out on Ritz cheese crackers, cookies, gummies, and fruit roll ups and didn't fall asleep till about 1:00 in the morning.
Thankfully, I'm getting better at handling these cravings. Whenever I just want to eat I pop a banana or a melon (this week is Honeydew) and they hold me over till my next meal. Healthy and delicious. What more could you ask for?
This week is my second week and the next round of side effects have taken affect -the dreaded Moon face and the awful mood swings, but you can argue that the mood swings were the first to start. My mom pointed my face out this morning. She's been really worried about the steroids. I have a very round face to begin with and Moon face kind of makes it worse. It's not very pleasant, simply because it makes you look chubbier than you really are.
The mood swings are the weirdest though... One moment I'll be all happy and chatty for no reason then the next I'll just sag and be all quiet about nothing and just sleep or wander the internet. And I'll catch myself doing it too. This is the most confusing side effect for me. I never know if it's all in my head or if it's the medication. It does make for a nice scape goat though. If I snap at someone or if I'm so excited and I'm weirding them out I just blame it on the Prednisone. Paired with my anemia it's the most annoying as well. I get so tired so easily, but I have all this 'energy' so I can't rest. On nights that I can't sleep or when I sleep late I draw or I read till I'm tired. I actually draw the best late at night which is great. I might post some pictures later today.
So some good things come from this. I can't complain too much, I'm trying to keep on the bright side, taking it all in stride. The medicine is helping me so much and as annoying as it is I'm very grateful for it.

Keep Calm and Fight On
Anna
♥

“Too many people miss the silver lining because they are expecting gold.” 

—Maurice Setter

Every story has a beginning, this is mine.

"No matter who you are, there will be times when your old normal isn't normal anymore. You will lose normal and that's what Chronic Disease is. It's a new normal."

― Hank Green

Unlike the characters in my books my life didn't change over night. It was a gradual change but it was just as jarring as Harry Potter learning he was a wizard or Bilbo turning invisible at his 111 birthday party or Dustfinger appearing at Meggie's window in the dead of night. My life changed during my senior year in high school, when I began having these terrible pains in my abdomen. 

Sort of funny really, your senior year is supposed to be the year. It's the year you never forget, the year you make all of your memories. It started out great. I enjoyed my classes, my friends, I even had a bit of romance for a while too, but it was short lived. Around late October, early November, I started experiencing awful pains in my stomach, like my intestines were being pulled, twisted, and chewed. At first I thought it was just stress. I tend to over think things and stress out about nothing, I assumed these pains where just the effects of the rising number of assignments in my AP classes and an upcoming theater competition. After about a month of ignoring and gritting my teeth the pain just became too much to bare. I had stopped eating and dropped about 15 pounds over a two month period. I started skipping school regularly. When I did manage to make it however I would come home utterly exhausted looking like a ghost.

Finally, around mid-December it just became too much to ignore and I stopped going to school all together. The pain was so bad that I couldn't hold down any of my food, and so my mother took me to the ER. The doctors drew blood and did a CT scan where they found two kidney stones, one in my kidney and one in my bladder and evidence of a third stone that I had already passed, and though they didn't say anything at the time they had also found evidence of swelling 'consistent with Crohn's disease' in my colon. I read that part in the written report they gave me afterwards.

Now, I had no idea what Crohn's disease was so I googled it. Worst mistake of my life. I scared the crap out of myself, but maybe it was a good thing that I did. Apparently I was the only one who had read the report because I had to mention Crohn's to my primary care doctor when I went to get a follow up. Everything I was experiencing was consistent with the symptoms of this obscure auto-immune disease that no one had ever heard of. It explained the pain, the severe anemia and malnourishment, the fatigue, the weight loss, and the swelling in my ankles. I couldn't get any treatment though, not until they could confirm that it was Crohn's through a colonoscopy and couldn't get one of those until my insurance was renewed in February. My doctor just gave me some medicine for the nausea and codeine for the pain.   

I was admitted into the hospital on February 6. I weighed 99 pounds and my hemoglobin was at a level 7. After an endoscopy and colonoscopy I was officially diagnosed with Crohn's disease on the 7th. They put me on a Low Residue, Low Fiber, High Protein diet and gave me steroids and Asacol to help with the inflammation and swelling. They gave me an antibiotic because I had contracted a bacteria in my stools as well as iron for my anemia.

Now, I'm at home recovering and learning everything I can about my particular brand of Crohns. I'm on top of all my medications and keeping track of my food intake and just taking care of my body so I can finish my senior year next fall. 

I'm starting this blog to help, not only myself deal with my new normal, but provide information and first hand experience for anyone else like me who has just been blindsided by this disease. This is my story. Enjoy.

Keep Calm and Fight On,

Anna 

♥

"I can be changed by what happens to me. but I refuse to be reduced by it.” 

― Maya Angelou